Where have I been? What have I been doing? I am sure my absence on the blog hasn’t even registered with you, but once every year my mother may type in the address so this update is for her.

Obviously, I have been busy training hard for this new extreme sport:

I said this was for my mom, so I’ll spare you the description of my sweaty overweight body performing on the pole.

Honestly, I think these guys need to take it to the next level. There needs to be a big spring at the bottom of the pole. Is this more of a religion, than a sport? Ask the goats.

Thanks eckeletic!

…and raise you a cheerleading squad.
(Korean guy) Is that so? In that case, I’ll see your cheerleaders and raise you a human LCD screen.
(Me) What? You have got to be kidding. I’m calling ye on that one.
(Korean Guy) Here you are.

(Me) Well, crap. Well played. [pushes his chips over]

Cheers to Holz fer this find. There is another clip, longer by a couple of minutes, but this is the better of the two.

This is why I don’t watch ESPN.

I am so sick of conjecture, assumptions and theories about the “what ifs.” Not to mention, the lame ass metaphors. The steam room references just crack me up. The Onion parody is right on when it comes to the ridiculous garbage that comes out of the mouths of sports commentators. It’s like they all went to the Dennis Miller school of broadcasting. Damn, now I am doing it.

When I see all the tissues scattered all over his room…

Well, that doesn’t make me think he’s sick. He’s not sniffling or coughing.

Hey, at least I was patriotic enough not to mention his masturbatory habit during the Olympics.

Those of us who just watch the Super Bowl for commercials have our own song now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWAzqE-MYcA

via Laughing Squid

Television is having a hard time adapting to the age of television, but is 3D the answer? 3D technology still seems pretty gimmicky to me. Thus, the idea that it is coming to television in the next 2-3 years does nothing to impress me. It almost feels like a step in the wrong direction. Read the rest of this entry »

I really have no reason to watch television anymore. The news is atrocious, as they have moved on to entertainment and ratings. Sitcoms are completely recycled from the 70s & 80s, or worse they are just poorly written. Furthermore, the dramas haven’t changed in years either. What do you want to watch, cop drama, law drama or doctor drama?

Instead of a boring rant, I decided to make you a little info-graphic. Click to enlarge.