You see them everywhere, but most often in racks of greetings cards belonging to shops: Out-of-focus photographs, fronted with trite and/or irrelevant statements. Much like this one, in fact:

I know; deep, huh?
Yeah – deep as a bleedin’ puddle and it makes about as much sense as a giraffe in a tutu. Oh, sorry? You think I’m being harsh? Nah. This is harsh (but true).

This “art” makes my mind race because I’m trying to decide which insult to start with since there are so many flying (FUCKING PUN!!!) through my brain right now.

First, it makes no sense whatsoever. Walk up to a dog and say, “If you’re a dog, I’m a dog.” And guess what? You’re not. It just doesn’t work. Nor would it be a good thing if it did, since people would be turning into assholes a lot based on how many times I’ve heard someone say, “Well, if you’re an asshole than I’m definitely an asshole.”

Second, this reminds me a little bit of the whole, “If [your friend] Jim jumped off a bridge, would you?” The classic parenting adage—only the answer is supposed to be no. Here, the answer seems to be yes. Your parents would be disappointed.

Third, do you really want to have bird sex? Seems less enjoyable. If your significant other turns into a bird, he/she has some serious issues and this might be a good time to reconsider being with them. You know, instead of morphing into a bird too.

If you’re like me and need to see more of this guy trashing crappy ‘art’, then slide along to That Isn’t Art and bask in the bile.

Cheers to Dimitra for the heads up.

Everywhere I go, I read things saying Twitter is the new blog for 2008.  So here’s some Twitter related reading on blogs, which are apparently dead.

Culture11 has a good article describing that which is the Twitter.

Wired’s article declaring the death of blogs and the rise of Twitter, Flickr and Facebook.

Oh, and apparently military intelligence (don’t get me started) thinks that Twitter is likely to be used in a terrorist assault.  Thus, if you are like me and have no health care and something comes up that requires medical attention, start using the words ‘bomb’ & ‘infidel’ in your tweets.  According to Michael Moore’s Sicko, Guantanamo has an excellent medical staff and all the detainees get excellent medical care.

Add it to your weekly time killer bookmark folder.  Cake Wrecks shows you the worst in sugary shame.  Take the example below, or click the link and see the baked goods people actually paid for.

My cousin & I were chatting and she was curious about some of my videos, so I say, “Check out my site.”

“You have a portfolio online?” She says.

“I have my own blog online where I post whatever amuses me at the moment and a section of the web page does have videos that I made.”

“Amuses you? What is your blog about?”

“Well, there’s no real direction, just funny stuff that I find or weird, new technology and computer stuff.”

“Oh, we travel in different circles.” My cousin informs, “The only blogs I read are mommy-type blogs.”

I have been to some ‘mommy’ sites, but somehow I don’t think the same one’s as her. So, to reach a larger demographic here at Sikkdays, here’s a helpful video for child rearing from Robot Chicken.

You know what I am doing right now? Check my twitter, you stalker. Twitter is a simple concept and I think that is what makes it appealing . It’s part social networking, part blog, part IM, and part…well…Twitter, I guess. With 140 characters or less, tell your friends what you are up to. I’ve been sick the last couple weeks and just managed to drag my ass to work, but sleep always beat out blogging, yet I did manage to write a blurb about what I was up to on Twitter. People have wrote loads of applications to use Twitter with Firefox, IM, blogs, etc. Check it out. Please. It would be a much cooler tool if I actually had friends.

I stopped taking my meds that prevent me from being cynical so I have been on a posting frenzy of late. So, in case you missed it scroll down and click “previous entries” to see more sikkness or navigate below:

• Stop Spam, a helpful guide. I hope. (# of penis references:1)

• Reality TV for people who drive, or people who can’t. (# of penis references:1)

• Wilford ‘Diabeetis’ Brimley dances his way into my heart. (penis:0 asses:1)

• Make your own Lionel Richie Bust? Why? Why not? (slow dancing jams:1)

• If I really cared that you smoke, I’d bitch slap you with rotting fillet. Watch the video instead, I am lazy. (muppets:0 penis:0 muppet penis:0)

• Actors can’t even spell their names without the writers. No, seriously. (asses:1)

• Corporations even own Michael Moore. (bad photos:1)

• Jimmy Carter for President (penis:5 asses:4 f-bombs:32 mf-bombs:2 christ:3 Damn:2 shit:10)

Jimmy Carter’s foul article is obviously the winner.

WHOA! What just happened?

Yeah, in like 3 days that first line won’t make much sense, but if you are reading this close to the posting date you might be surprised to be here. I was struggling with the fact that the Flash Designed homepage didn’t really serve a purpose.

I posted my thoughts of apprehension in the sikkdays forum recently and created a poll to see what others thought. Though, most of the forum contributors are my close friends at this point, and are smart enough to know that this isn’t a democracy. This is my strange little web experiment, and in the end it is my decision.

Thus, after some quick editing, I placed my del.icio.us bookmarks in the sidebar of the blog and redirected my .com to the blog. I am about 70% confident that this will not affect the functionality of the blog or the forum. I am a bit nervous and I may switch it back if sikkdays or I get cranky. So, baring any disasters, this will be the way the site works. Well at least until I get bored and change it again.

I was toying with a short Flash intro to the site. One of the criticisms of the site when I first designed it was the lack of images. To be specific, I was told that I should use images from my videos on the site because they are really interesting and appealing to one’s eye balls. For a brief moment I pondered using these images to make a short intro, but I sure hate intros on sites that I visit often. Annoying.

The unfortunate consequence of the removal of the homepage is the lose of the fun little quoterator, a random quote generator I made in Flash filled with my favorite quotes and some added by visitors. I’ll do my best to rectify this situation as soon as I can. Please be patient as I learn a new programing language or two to make a new one. If you miss the homepage or can’t live without the quotes, hit the link page, the two pages are actually one and the same and for the time being you can visit the links, hit the “x” in the bottom corner and you are at the old homepage.