So very awkward.

Jeff is my hero.

via No You Shut Up

I’m guessing this is some bizarre plug for the band The Apples? Whatever. Elijah is always entertaining, even in awful Hobbit movies.

via I don’t remember because it has been on my ‘to blog’ list forever.

John C. Reilly is funny. Jonah Hill just doesn’t do it for me though. This Cyrus movie looks like one of those hip, wanna-be awkward on purpose independent films. If your sick of that genre you can watch the television show It’s Your Move from the 80s. The television show has the same plot with a young Jason Bateman and is probably funnier.

This is by far one of the most wonderful movies I have ever seen. I posted the trailer when I first heard about it and there are very few clips available. I thought you’d enjoy this anyway.

Mary and Max is the story of two pen pals who become the best of friends. Mary is not your typical movie cliché outcast. No, she’s much more awkward than any character Hollywood could throw at you. Thus, the only thing that can top Mary is Max. He suffers from Asperger’s syndrome. Alas, Max goes into a severe anxiety attack every time he gets a letter from Mary that asks a trivial question.

Narration is always hit or miss for me. It’s film after all. Why say it when you can show it? However, that is precisely what happens in Mary and Max, the animation illustrates what the narrator is describing much like the clip above. Mary’s mom has an issue with her having an older man as a pen pal and Max freaks out each time Mary writes him. Thus, the narrator moves the story along with delightful quirkiness.

The film moves with the pace and peculiar curiosity of Amélie. It was made by Adam Elliot who has made some great animations which can be found on the Youtube. Mary and Max has received a boat load of awards and honors as you can see from the website.

Find this film and watch the hell out of it. You might find it here, though I wouldn’t condone such a thing. Personally, I prefer the theater or my television over the computer. Of course, when I was younger I spent money I wish I had now on a home theater 5.1 sound system. So, I feel like I have to watch everything on it to get my money’s worth.

To continue my love affair with the awkwardness of slow motion, I have found this video.

via antville

This is either a great music video or the personification of my inner voice captured on film. At least, I imagine that is how the voices in my head look like.

Way to go Galifianakis, Natalie Portman and now Charlize. This is how I imagine these things go:

Producer: Let’s get someone who’s hot in the media right now to come to the studio for another Two Ferns interview.

Zach: Or we could get someone who is literally hot?

Seriously, he’s doing the “I’ll write people I want to meet into my sketches” thing.

I have a weakness for a bad movie. I was going to rent Twilight to make fun of it, however aside from alcoholism, there isn’t much to do in my town.  This movie is a contender for the title So Bad It Is Good.  Though, part of me believes it is a poser, as the hype surrounding the film props it up and then you see it and go WTF? Does that make sense? Maybe it isn’t the film that is so bad it is good, but the fans.

Better yet, you can be the judge.

The film has about 20 minutes of dialogue, it is practically in its entirety in the trailer below.  The rest of the movie is painfully, awkward, silent close-ups and slow motion scenes introducing characters.

This scene will probably be pulled from youtube, but illustrates what happens anytime the character Bella meets ANYONE in the move. Awkward, awkward, boring.

Trailer, in case the last video gets pulled. The car crash, yep that is the awkwardness of the whole film. After the crash in the trailer is all the dialogue from the entire film, I swear.

Oh, I lied. There is a great line missing from the trailer.  “You’re like my own personal brand of heroin.”  Fucking romantic, right?

So what is the climax of the film? Vampire baseball, what else.  I mean it is just a friendly game until ‘bad’ vampires show up. Then, we get the battle between good and evil. Is this supposed to be a message about how we put too much emotion into sports? Parents being escorted away from elementary school games by the cops because they can’t behave?  Is that the social commentary?  Or are we supposed to believe that vampires will actually have a West Side Story rumble because of baseball?

I nabbed this from somewhere else, hoping it doesn’t get as nuked as fast, not being from youtube.


Seriously, did you make it through more than 2 minutes of that? All the slow motion and effects makes it so much cooler, huh? I bet you just want to run out a play baseball now, right? Man, is there a Twilight video game? They better have the baseball part in it.

With all the slow mo and awkward close-ups, I kept looking for Nic Cage to be in this.