Seriously, nothing says I have never been laid than a scale replica of a scifi prop in your front yard.  I can see it now, the most comments and emails I have ever seen from my site because I referred to Star Wars as science fiction.  As proud as you are guy, I am thinking if you didn’t get permission from the Lucus Empire to build that thing, he is going to crawl up your ass and pull out your fillings to get his royalties.  I kid, he doesn’t have time, I am sure he’s producing web episodes of JarJar & Chewbaca Buy an Ice Cream and writing the movies that fall in the moments where they star-wiped in the original series.

Read the real story at Neatorama, nerd.

Blah, blah, you don’t read this anyway.  Watch the video and go back to your “normal” surfing.

First gun, lame.  Second gun, cool.

via Gizmodo

You are not alone!  Well, if you are on this site, chances you are.  However, designers, web monkeys & pirates there’s a new home for you called Dear Adobe.  That’s right, go there and find out that you are not alone.  There are loads of people who want set their Adobe install discs on fire and put them out with a stream of urine.  Read some complaints, and vote in agreement or disagreement and feel vindicated.  The site is in no way associated with Adobe, so there’s a fat chance that a solution will come, but voting is important, even if it doesn’t count, like for the President of the United States.  Just like the Electoral College, Adobe doesn’t have to listen to your votes, but maybe it will make you feel better.

I saw this on filmdrunk, a while ago, but it has been on my mind so I had to vent.  If you made this movie to spoof Michael Moore than you obviously fear him.  Your spoof may mock him, but it is actually giving him power, in my opinion.  I will have to watch this film because I am curious if, as the trailer portrays, the filmmakers are actually saying, “Hey, if you don’t like our country, you can leave.  Patriotism means wrapping yourself in a flag and singing at the top of your lungs even though you don’t know the whole anthem.  It does not mean speaking your mind and trying to influence government, that’s some other word we don’t know or care to know.  Whoa!  Look over there, a new mall opened, go go!”

Bumper sticker patriotism just upped the ante by making a movie.  Now, if you’ll excuse me I have to go fill out my application for Canadian citizenship.  By the way, apparently all music promotes terrorism but country.

What happened David Zucker?  Did Michael Moore not invite you to an award party?  Oooh, that’s right, his funny movies win awards, yours just make lots of fart noises.

I haven’t been over to Cracked in a while, how about you?  This is the list that recently caught my eye, The 10 Most Shameless Product Placements in Movie History.

Yesterday, I see this trailer for Lakeview Terrace, a film starring Samuel L. Jackson.  I felt like I was in an alternate dimension.  I saw this film in 1992 when it was called Unlawful Entry, with my main man Ray Liota.  I know times are tough Hollywood.  Economically, it doesn’t make sense to try something new, we need to stick to the things that make us money.  So go out and shoot a film called, The Dim Evening to try and mimic the success of The Dark Night.  Hey, get Amy Winehouse to play the “Jester” because she is like days away from a overdose death that will bring you free publicity.

Unlawful Entry, 1992

 Lakeview Terrace, 2008

You see, in Unlawful Entry, a dude loves another dude’s wife and the other dude gets angry and wants that dude out of his neighborhood and away from his wife, but the dude is a police officer, so what can the dude do?

In Lakeview Terrace a dude doesn’t like his neighbor…I give up. Yes, the trailers are different, but same result, crazy cop abuses power and tortures neighbors.  Where is Snakes on a Plane 2?  That is a movie I would watch, Sam.

I have no patience for models, either one of them.  The only way I want Tyra Banks in the news is if I push her into the giant press that prints the paper.  As for model trains, cars, etc.  I found that I lack the precision and composure to participate in building.  Though, I am in awe of those who can do it.  It is a combination of “Why the hell would you do that?” and “How the hell did you do that?”

So I spotted these pics on the Tomorrow Museum site, by Julia Fullerton-Batten.  Click her name and the rest of the series is under projects, teenage stories.  The pictures didn’t blow me away or anything, but I like the miniature scenes invaded by obnoxious, evil models, I imagine that is how Tyra feels, what a bitch.